(818) 788-HOPE (4673)
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills

Posts from March 2021

Almost Five Months – Where Are The Tears?

We often hear a lament in the grief groups: “I can’t cry. I want to but I can’t. What’s wrong with me?”

It’s normal to feel numb when you’re grieving. It does not mean that something is wrong with you. Emotional numbness can occur when your body goes through the shock of loss. It’s the body’s natural anesthetic to help you through the transition from the reality of the suddenness of death to a new reality. It’s difficult to feel… and difficult to accept the lack of feelings. But feelings will return in time. Some people cry on the inside. Others can’t stop crying for a while. Grieving is a strikingly individual experience.

The following poem aptly describes the despair and confusion of having no tears.

Grieving Is Healing

When a loved one dies, we are faced with the stark reality that life is indelibly changed.  It is a hard reality to accept, and it launches us into the grieving process. We mostly think of grief as a journey through sadness, fraught with a myriad of struggles along the way – with feelings of helplessness, exhaustion, stress, anxiety or loneliness as our travel companions. We wonder how long it will take until the pain subsides and if we can ever get on with our lives.  It is helpful to remember that grieving is a healthy process, one we are wired to go through after a profound loss. Sometimes people think of grieving only as something to get over. But, unlike an illness, we don’t get over it — we go through it, resolving our feelings about the loss gradually.

My Parent Has Died! What Now?

Loss!  We have all experienced losing a loved one but losing a parent is a unique loss and one that is often discounted.  Anyone who has had a parent die knows that feeling of profound sadness, the feeling of being overwhelmed, the thoughts of,  “Oh No! What now?”

There is a prevailing attitude in our cultural messages that the death of a parent is a natural course of events and we need to “just get over it!”