Most likely, your spouse filled many intimate and social roles in your life. After the death of your spouse, you have suddenly been thrust into the role of being single, an unwanted and unfamiliar position. It probably feels strange, confusing and frightening to be single again. The world looks and feels differently. Everyone seems to be in couples. Situations in daily living don’t seem to feel as safe and secure. There seems to be an overwhelming amount of things that you don’t know how to do. Most importantly, you probably feel that you have never felt this kind of loneliness before.
Allowing yourself to walk through the grieving process is important in order to resolve your grief and to again feel hope. The final stage of grieving is a sense of reconnecting to life and the living.
As human beings, we are social beings. It is very important to remain socially connected and active. No one said that it is easy. Take one day at a time. Most people feel much better and are able to maintain a positive outlook when they continue to resume social activities with friends, relatives and family. Take the risk to reach out and make new friends, participate in new activities, learn new skills and create opportunities to experience life as the changed person that you are becoming.
Set small practical goals for each day or even divide the day into parts with specific tasks to be accomplished by noon. The goal is not to avoid grief but rather to use your time in meaningful ways and to take pride in small accomplishments.
“The struggle to know, to understand, to extend his domain, is what keeps the spirit of man alive.” – Homer E. Nowell
Posted in: About Grief and Healing