Posts from May 2022

Ignorance Isn’t Bliss: Coping with Parent Loss

May 21, 2022
Laine Hammer
Grief

Laine Hammer is a writer living in Los Angeles whose mother died in 2017. She finds joy by rock climbing, reading, finding new vegan restaurants, traveling and winning free concert tickets through 88.5 FM.

“Sometimes my grief feels as though I’ve been left alone in a room with no doors. Every time I remember that my mother is dead, it feels like I’m colliding with a wall that won’t give. There’s no escape, just a hard surface that I keep ramming into over and over, a reminder of the immutable reality that I will never see her again.” — Michelle Zauner, Crying in H Mart

Grief feels like that hole in your old t-shirt. You try to ignore it, but it won’t let you. Even after you mend it, the pesky hole comes back somewhere new. And the longer you ignore it, the bigger the hole gets.

Grief… Waits

What happens to grief that is unattended? Are there symptoms? Does grief still exist if it’s put on hold or does it go away by itself? What do I do with it?

When your loved one dies, grief is a natural process in our bodies that can take many forms. It’s unique to every individual and is affected by so many different factors. “25 Factors That Affect How You Grieve and Heal from the Death of a Loved One” explains many of those factors.

Confronting – and Rising Above – Regret

“Though we would like to live without regrets, and sometimes proudly insist that we have none, this is not really possible, if only because we are mortal.” — James Baldwin

Memories are powerful and can be simply thought of as reflective nostalgia. Or they can turn into something much more, with the potential to trigger an overwhelming feeling of regret.

When someone you love dies, it’s normal to focus on some guilt or perhaps some regret which then boils to the surface without warning.