Everyone goes through a natural grieving process when a death occurs. We each behave and express feelings according to the way we’ve been taught and as modeled by our society, our culture, our family, our peers and other influences. A belief system is created that affects the way that we perceive life, death and grief.
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Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Nearly a year has passed since we celebrated HOPE Connection’s 40th anniversary. Rabbi Ed Feinstein had a message for the HOPE community on that day. It was a simple but profound message about an experience that virtually every group member can relate to: the realization that after the initial support of family and friends, you’re left alone with your grief.
Have you heard the phrase “Driven to distraction?” It’s a common reality for many. Grief brings worries, fears, anxiety, plus the pain of being alone. Being alone is one of the most difficult aspects of loss of a loved one. Now with the pandemic and physically needing to social distance, there is more alone time. With that is a craving of distractions to keep the mind busy. And understandably so. No one wants to feel the pain of grief and being alone.
Soon January will flow into February, another month with short colder days, often dreary. It is also the month with the sweetest, most passionate holiday — Valentine’s Day. When you have lost your life partner, whether recently or years ago, whether you are on your own or in a new relationship, Valentine’s Day can be an arrow to the heart. Our losses and grief can be deeper, more painful, when it seems as though the world is celebrating connection to the one special person.
Josh Groban, singing “To Where You Are”
In addition to the ways to connect with our loved ones that we discussed in The Wonder Of Everlasting Love, music is another especially powerful way to connect. Many partners have songs that are special to them. Whenever you hear any song that was part of your relationship, you have probably felt strong emotion, bringing back cherished memories.
People who grieve after the loss of a spouse often do so in isolation. Even when children and grandchildren are able to comfort a parent or grandparent in person, that comfort can sometimes be temporary at best.
“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this.” — N. Kazan There are indeed events that divide your life into “before and after.” And holidays often make you realize the significance of the event you’ve experienced. If you’re grieving, holidays —…
How do we think about what grief does to the human heart? In many cases, it brings unbearable heartbreak. In others, it can bring relief. It is when the heart breaks or shatters that we believe that it is irreparable.
By Martha Carr, Psy.D., LMFT
It’s 11:38 pm and I am jolted awake by an earthquake. It’s so rough it feels like I am thrown straight up in the air, taking me out of slumber instantly. My brain scrambles to figure out what is happening and, while I am still moving, my right arm instinctively and spontaneously reaches out, grabbing for Richard. For 42 years he slept to the right of me. The bed is empty of course. It’s been empty for four years. It takes me a few seconds to reconcile the two realities – the one in which he is still there and the one in which he is gone. My heart breaks a little again as consciousness brings me into the actuality of my life.
Download the Gratitude Calendar
As Thanksgiving approaches you may wonder what you have to be grateful for. If you have recently lost your spouse or another loved one, this may be the first significant holiday you’ve spent without them. Your grief may be so fresh that it’s hard to feel anything else. If some time has passed since your loved one died, this is still going to be a strange, perhaps surreal holiday season. The pandemic is raging anew, even while there is hope on the horizon for a vaccine. But that is in the future — this is now. What is there to be grateful for this very day? Discovering — or rediscovering — gratitude can actually be a simple and thoughtful process, beginning with a Gratitude Journal. Download this Gratitude Calendar — created by HOPE therapist Lori Oberman — and use it daily as inspiration for your Gratitude Journal. Day by day you may discover the healing power of gratitude — an especially miraculous gift at this time of the year. Wishing you all the blessings of this season — All of us at HOPE Connection.