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Healing (Page 7)

Please Don’t Take Away My Grief

Please don’t take away my grief…

I know that you mean no harm when you say things like “You’ll feel better soon.” “You’re strong.“ “Look for the good things to remember.” There’s an entire long list of things that people say to me, wanting me to feel better… but I don’t feel better. I feel lost, alone and am missing my loved one.

When you try to “fix” my grief, I only leave it to take care of you, to make you feel better. Honestly, that takes a lot of energy and leaves me feeling exhausted and totally alone.

The Circle of Life

“It’s the Circle of Life and it moves us all through despair and hope through Faith and Love.” — From The Lion King These are soulful words though not typical of how we move through life. Our lives are usually experienced in a linear way — on a path that goes on and on until it fades away or ends abruptly. We count and…

Through Which Window Are You Viewing Your Life After Loss?

While driving a car, it’s important to see things from two different viewpoints — through the windshield and in the rearview mirror. The windshield is large and designed to protect you by showing a clear view of your present surroundings and a short distance down the road ahead. The rearview mirror is much smaller. You periodically glance into the rearview mirror to…

Grieving A Parent And Discovering A Forever-Changed Family

This article is addressed to adults who have lost a parent. However, if that parent also happens to be your spouse, then this article is also meant for you — the parent of that adult child. Looking at parent-child relationships from every perspective is valuable and can help both parent and adult children heal and grow.

When your parent dies, the family gets confused.

The roles you had come to know and expect in your family, roles that have been in place for much of your life, suddenly are not the same. It can feel very foreign, unfamiliar and can really rock your world. Who are we without mom? Who are we without dad?

A “Goodbye” to HOPE Connection

Man’s feelings are always purest and most glowing in the hour of meeting and of farewell – Jean Paul Richter, writer, 1763-1825 At HOPE Connection, we encourage every group member to say goodbye to other group members and the group therapist when they move from one group to the next. There is a rationale behind this tradition, which you can read about here. Following this tradition, a group…

When Will “Closure” Come?

One person may say — “Closure? Will there ever be an end to this horrible pain of grief? When will I get the closure that I hear about? I’m done. I’m not going to grieve anymore!” And another person may say — “I don’t want closure. I never want to let go. How can I possibly say goodbye forever to my loved one? I’m so confused. Am…

Reconnecting Through Community

We all have a strong inherent desire to belong, to connect to others. It feels good to be a part of a group, to feel accepted by others, to feel validated. For many of us, the death of a loved one can make you feel alone, isolated, different. When you lose a significant other, you may also lose your group, your unit, your sense of belonging. Rediscovering community can provide a tremendous sense of relief.

Don’t Laugh – This Is Serious!

Grief & Humor Because HOPE groups are organized by the number of months since a person’s spouse has died, group members quickly notice one distinct difference between the groups. Group One members are typically quieter, both entering and leaving their group meetings. For good reason, of course — their pain is too raw, the emotions too overwhelming for much social interaction to…

Who Are We After Our Parents Die?

It’s hard to imagine there could be anything beneficial about losing a parent, and at some point in our lives, both of our parents. The good news is as “survivors” we can and often do experience, after the death of a parent, many new opportunities leading to a discovery that the ultimate shape of our lives is in our hands. When we…