“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend”
― Albert Camus
The lonely walk, the storm that shakes your foundation as you toss in the wild wind, the dark tunnel that seems endless. You are filled with the deepest grief beyond your imagination when your beloved has died.
There is a longing for someone to hold your trembling self, someone who understands, has been in that dark place before you.
The people around you — friends, family, caring acquaintances are trying but it is not enough to reach the depth of your loss, not enough for you to feel you are in the presence of kindred souls. Maybe no one is around at all.
You are searching for your people.
They are there, a caring community of others who take you in, honor your tears, fears, angers — all of it. You are no longer alone. Others who have walked on your path now reach out to you, offering loving arms, listening ears, heart rhythms of care that soothe your longing.
They are the… Grief Walkers.
The what?
The grief walkers!
Grieving the death of a loved one can be a profound experience, one that is confusing and difficult to understand. It may not be what you expected and can be very surprising with all its twists and turns.
Grief and healing take time and effort. It’s called “grief work” for a reason. If you do that work, your life will be changed.
Group members talking about grief have shared thoughts like:
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Grief is nothing like what I expected. I feel so lost and alone.
This article goes beyond the characteristics of grief. It’s about You and the changes that happen as you move through your healing journey. Without even being aware, you may slowly become someone that at HOPE Connection, we call a “grief walker.” You walk and talk more openly with other recent grievers because you now truly understand that journey in a way that you did not grasp prior to your loss. Unlike many others in the lives of those who mourn, you’re not fearful of deepest reactions to the death of a beloved. You don’t avoid the pain of others or try to fix it. You don’t give unnecessary advice because you know that every person’s feelings are unique. You are committed to be of help. You see. You hear. You understand. You provide resources. You are a guide through the deepest realm of others’ despair. You walk beside them in all seasons as they face their grief and slowly heal.
A few graduates of our two-year program at HOPE shared what being a grief walker means to them by going deep inside to respond to the words: I will walk with you…
I will walk with you through the worse emotional and physical pain unimaginable. — Linda
I’d walk with you to heaven to bring your loved one back if I could. We share this journey of grief that will never end. The memory of those who left us will keep us floating and going on. — Dalia
I will walk with you, sit with you, be still with you, talk with you, listen with my heart. —Lynne
I will walk with you on your journey through your grief, just as many from the Hope community were there (and continue to be there) to supportively walk with me through my own grief journey. It is an honor and a privilege to do so. — Allen
I will be a listening ear without judgment or advice, to smile up at the sun and point to a flower, and to offer a caring hug. — Frances
By being present and listening compassionately, I take my cues from the grieving person. Simply being there and listening to them can be a huge source of comfort and healing. — Shea
I will walk with You, because I’ve felt what You’re feeling.
I will walk with You, for I’ve been lost too.
I will walk with You, because I care.
I will walk with You in silence, because sometimes that’s enough.
I will walk with You without judgment, for who am I to judge.
I will walk with You, because I understand.
I will walk with You, because You are my friend.
I will walk with You, because I Love You… Hold on. — Michael A.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a pioneer in the field of stages of trauma and grief, describes special healing people that walk with us:
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and found their way out of the depth. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen,”
Becoming a Grief Walker is a hard-earned gift that comes from the many challenges and difficulties of grieving your loss. We may encounter these special people from all walks of life. We need each other to heal through the challenges of pain and grief. It’s not to be feared. It may not be easy, but it is such a sacred honor.
If you are one of them, Thank You!