It is often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. If this is true, then perhaps words can be the companion that sits by that window. Words allow feelings to express the sorrow of the grieving heart.
It is often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. If this is true, then perhaps words can be the companion that sits by that window. Words allow feelings to express the sorrow of the grieving heart.
The holidays are too often a painful reminder of your changed life and the death of your loved one. They may force you to realize how much your life has changed. Holidays certainly may not feel festive — they may feel more like a spotlight painfully illuminating your sense of emptiness, aloneness and broken heart. How can you move from hiding or…
As you might know, anxiety can be inextricably connected to grief and is considered a normal part of the grieving process. For some, it can become a constant companion in the grieving process. What is anxiety? Basically, it’s feeling a sense of worry, nervousness, unease and excessive apprehension. Honestly, it can just feel plain terrifying and awful, as though you’re going crazy…
Take a moment and imagine your life as a tapestry.
What you see depends upon which side you’re looking at.
Sometimes, you only see what looks like the back side of the fabric, with broken threads and uneven and missed stitches, the difficult painful events.
If you take a breath, give it time to unfold and hold onto faith/hope/love, you may be able to imagine the top side of the tapestry and begin to believe that your life will become upright and okay again, maybe even beautiful in its own unique, changed way. It won’t always feel upside down the way the loss of loved one can throw it.
October, and Halloween — oh what memories! Wearing costumes with a mask that you wanted to fool a friend with. In those days that was a fun kind of mask.
Now, as a grieving adult, you discover that masks take on a different purpose. Such as the metaphorical mask to avoid the sadness of grief with family and friends, when you don’t want them to know how you really feel.
Like a thick veil slowly descending, blanketing itself over you and obscuring your vision, you can’t help but give in to the weight of its powerful effect. These are times when you cannot think, cannot feel, cannot see or eat or speak. The death of a spouse, child or anyone that you love dearly can leave you in this experience. No one wants to be in this place, especially not you.
There is a famous line in the 1932 classic movie, Grand Hotel, where Greta Garbo says… “I want to be alone.” That phrase says so much. Alone… is it healthy or unhealthy? Well, that depends upon many factors and circumstances, especially when you are grieving the death of a loved one.
Animals, when wounded, seek isolation to lick their wounds and hopefully heal. It’s a self-soothing behavior that occurs naturally. Is it normal for human beings, when emotionally wounded from loss, to want to isolate and be alone?
The award-winning song “You’ve Got A Friend in Me” is blaring as the drama group sings out with wild enthusiasm. Flying arms reach out to as many others as possible with fist bumps. The song ends with hugs, laughter — the joy of being together. These are the Born To Act Players, a non-profit group of young adults with challenges — Down syndrome, autism, seizure disorders and more. Some of the participants have dealt with illness, surgery, death of a parent or sibling. Their lives have had times of struggle but not in this moment of togetherness.
Book Review
Grief is such a complex subject and process that there are countless valid and valuable perspectives on it. Many people have explored these perspectives and gone on to write books that offer comfort and healing to people who are grieving.
Disenfranchised Grief
Have you ever experienced a loss so heartbreaking and no one was there to console you, to hold you, to hear you, to listen to your story, to cry with you, to help mend your broken heart? There was no Rabbi or Pastor to turn to, no group to give you a safe and non-judgmental place to mourn your loss, to heal your broken heart. This is what Disenfranchised Grief looks like. You feel utterly alone and silenced.