“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort.
This episode: “Patience” (May 2021) – Dr. Evelyn Pechter
When you’re grieving, it’s not easy to be patient with yourself. You don’t even feel like yourself anymore. How could you, you just want your loved one back. You want your old life back. You want to feel normal again — whatever normal is. And yet, right now there is no normal… and you can’t go back. It’s all so challenging, and why it takes some self-kindness and patience.
What does patience with yourself even mean when your heart aches so much? It means taking the time to stop and acknowledge that you’re hurting. It means accepting where you are in your grieving process, and that’s one of the most challenging aspects of grieving. So, rather than judging yourself when you feel impatient, angry, or upset… maybe allow yourself to be curious and ask yourself, what am I feeling? Sadness? Anger? Impatience? Regret? Guilt? Longing? Feeling any of those is painful and can feel like no one understands. It’s painful to feel so alone and not know the next step. It takes patience.
So, take a breath… — breathe — and give yourself a moment right now to relax as you breathe. Notice that your impatience may relax with you. You might even find that your impatience is changing into a little patience with yourself.
So, practice breathing. And allow yourself to trust this grieving process. Kindness and caring for yourself will help your patience to grow.
Wishing you much love and light in healing your heart… moment by moment.