“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares…” — Henri Nouwen, from Out of Solitude

If your spouse has died recently or, perhaps, years ago, you are in the process of gaining or have gained some hard-earned wisdom. You know that the pain immediately following the death can feel overwhelming, unbearable or intolerable. The pain is perhaps unfamiliar, is definitely uncomfortable and can come at unexpected times. But you’ve learned that patience and compassion with yourself and others help give you permission to have your own authentic process.