There’s no place like “HOPE” for the Holidays.

The first time a loved one is absent for the holidays a griever may conclude that all of the progress and healing that has taken place has vanished.

Starting with Thanksgiving and through New Year’s are the days on which mourners are reminded of loss by the painful absence of their loved one. Feelings of longing and sadness are especially acute this time of year.

In our culture there is a strong expectation of a “Norman Rockwell” holiday with loved ones harmoniously gathered around the hearth. This expectation burdens many individuals, not just those who are mourning.

Grieving is so very hard. No one knows how to do it the first time they grieve, so they fumble their way through it. And it hardly gets any easier with each subsequent loss they sustain.

When we experience the death of someone we love, it’s difficult enough wrestling with the fact that they’re gone. One of the aspects we aren’t prepared for is the impact of some of the secondary losses: having to move (and thus losing a home), loss of identity or financial stability, loss or cancellation of future plans and — the loss of the physical presence of another. In fact, almost mysteriously, “absence” becomes a powerful physical force.