After the death of her daughter, Martha Whitmore Hickman wrote a wonderful book, Healing After Loss — daily meditations for working through grief. Many members of the HOPE community have talked about this powerful resource during group sessions. Hickman structures each meditation the same, with a quote, followed by her insight about it, ending with a simple summary. Today’s is especially timely. All…
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Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief (Page 11)
Being alone without another person’s physical presence is an interesting circumstance.
Isn’t it already painful enough that your spouse died and you’ve been thrust into a solitary life that you didn’t ask for and don’t want? Circumstances like a pandemic make the reality even more challenging. You’re being told to stay at home (often totally alone) and to social distance. Social distancing when we’re social beings is such a contradiction to what we’ve always been taught and encouraged. Even if it’s for the good of all, it still causes a conflict — cognitive dissonance, inside. It’s not what we believe to be true. We want and yearn human contact and connection.
By Don Phillipson
If you are in or have been through a HOPE Connection spousal loss support group, were you surprised by the depth and strength of the bonds you formed with other group members? It probably shouldn’t come as a surprise. Sharing intimate memories, the profound experience of realizing you’re not alone, insights about grief gained by listening intently — how could bonds not form through this process?
By Michael Arvanitis
I don’t like this. I am Lonely
And I don’t know what else to do.
Being isolated and by myself
Brings back memories of my last months with You.
By Jo Christner, Psy.D.
Having had a loved one recently die, every HOPE group member is keenly aware that life can take an unexpected and devastating turn in an instant. In the last couple of weeks, we have all had to deal with another unexpected development: isolation and the temporary cancellation of our weekly in-person support groups. That creates more grief upon grief.
“Raindrops on Roses and whiskers on kittens.
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.”
You probably recognize those song lyrics from Sound Of Music. It is easy to dismiss that song as a bit of tuneful fluff with charming images. Another way of viewing it is as a gem of musical wisdom on how to survive the tough times of life.
It’s raining outside. I’m sitting inside listening to the rain and pondering the essence of Nature as I watch the raindrops and leaves falling. Nature is so beautiful… and restoring. The rain brings regrowth and soon the trees will be green again. How do we know that? Because we’ve seen it happen over and over, cycle after cycle.
Susie knew that if she skipped out on the annual tradition of a large family get-together, her grief would grow and attending the following year would be that much harder. Susie is a member of a spousal loss support group and she shared that it was difficult leaving her house recently to attend a friend’s celebration. However, Susie mustered up all of…
Lucy Hone is a codirector at the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience and a research associate at AUT University in Auckland. She is also the author of the book Resilient Grieving.
I’d like to start by asking you some questions.
Have you ever lost someone you loved? Had your heart broken? Struggled through an acrimonious divorce or been the victim of infidelity?
Have you ever lived through a natural disaster? Been bullied? Or made redundant from a job?
Ever had a miscarriage or an abortion, or struggled through infertility?
Finally, have you or anyone you loved had to cope with mental illness, dementia, some form of physical impairment, or suicide?
Chances are, you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, and that’s true for most people. Adversity doesn’t discriminate.
If you are alive, you are going to have to deal with some tough times.
If you’re grieving the death of your spouse, it may sometimes feel as though you’ll never heal. But as the days and weeks and months and, yes, even years go by, healing does occur. One essential part of the healing process is gratitude. In the early days of your grief, gratitude might also seem like an emotion you’ll never experience again. If you make a practice of gratitude, though — expressing it even if you do not wholeheartedly feel it — you may just find that gratitude helps you heal.