It’s raining outside. I’m sitting inside listening to the rain and pondering the essence of Nature as I watch the raindrops and leaves falling. Nature is so beautiful… and restoring. The rain brings regrowth and soon the trees will be green again. How do we know that? Because we’ve seen it happen over and over, cycle after cycle.
(818) 788-HOPE (4673)
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief (Page 10)
Susie knew that if she skipped out on the annual tradition of a large family get-together, her grief would grow and attending the following year would be that much harder. Susie is a member of a spousal loss support group and she shared that it was difficult leaving her house recently to attend a friend’s celebration. However, Susie mustered up all of…
As you might know, anxiety can be inextricably connected to grief and is considered a normal part of the grieving process. For some, it can become a constant companion in the grieving process. What is anxiety? Basically, it’s feeling a sense of worry, nervousness, unease and excessive apprehension. Honestly, it can just feel plain terrifying and awful, as though you’re going crazy…
Lucy Hone is a codirector at the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience and a research associate at AUT University in Auckland. She is also the author of the book Resilient Grieving.
I’d like to start by asking you some questions.
Have you ever lost someone you loved? Had your heart broken? Struggled through an acrimonious divorce or been the victim of infidelity?
Have you ever lived through a natural disaster? Been bullied? Or made redundant from a job?
Ever had a miscarriage or an abortion, or struggled through infertility?
Finally, have you or anyone you loved had to cope with mental illness, dementia, some form of physical impairment, or suicide?
Chances are, you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, and that’s true for most people. Adversity doesn’t discriminate.
If you are alive, you are going to have to deal with some tough times.
If you’re grieving the death of your spouse, it may sometimes feel as though you’ll never heal. But as the days and weeks and months and, yes, even years go by, healing does occur. One essential part of the healing process is gratitude. In the early days of your grief, gratitude might also seem like an emotion you’ll never experience again. If you make a practice of gratitude, though — expressing it even if you do not wholeheartedly feel it — you may just find that gratitude helps you heal.
I recently wrote an article that dealt with insensitive remarks made by others. This time the camera of life will be a “selfie.” Note if any of these remarks resonate with your own self-talk.
First the common painful practice of “would of, could of, should of” comments that can really hurt. Here are a few examples:
“Loneliness is not a surprising by-product of widowhood. I mean, even for the people who have never been through it, it’s a no-brainer. But frankly, I think that lonely is not a strong enough word.” So begins an article by Catherine Tidd on OpenToHope. For anyone who has been a widow or widower for even a month, these words resonate. The sheer aloneness…
It’s a common question: What is life like after two years of grief?
This question is similar to questions you might have asked earlier. What happens during the first year? What happens after one year of grief? What happens during the second year? These are markers of time, yet grief does not always know what time it is.
You are grieving, upset, depressed, anxious, feeling alone and lost while finding yourself in a maze of people. Some of those people are family, good friends, co-workers, neighbors — the myriad of human beings who inhabit your world. You used to be able count on them to lift your spirits, trade a smile, give a caring word. Now you barely recognize your life and the people in it. Some are avoiding you as though you had a contagious disease. Even worse are those who speak in a language that cuts right to the bone of your despair. Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of these gems of insensitivity. Here are just a few that you may recognize:
If you’re a current member of a HOPE group or an alum, do you remember your orientation at your first meeting? Many members, even a few weeks after that first meeting, can’t remember a thing that was said. They remember how they felt — the overwhelming emotions that virtually prevented them from speaking, and — also very important — the kindness and compassion of the therapists and mentor who explained the process to come. But what was said? No.