When Lynne lost her husband of 52 years, she had good support from family, friends and therapists, but it wasn’t enough. “They want to make you feel better,” she recalls. They wanted to “get things back to where they were.” But she knew that wasn’t the process of grief. So, she sought out HOPE Connection. In the Spousal Loss group, she found what she needed: a safe place to fall.
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Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Posts by HOPE Connection (Page 3)
the ocean knows,
by tides,
when to approach,
when to recede.
grief knows,
the same way,
by the language
of the moon.
Often, poets capture the feelings following the death of our loved one in ways that transcend words. Westley Nash does exactly that in this short poem, read by the author, Left Behind.
If your spouse or partner has died, you have probably had people say some things to you that are — however unintentional —completely inappropriate. One sentiment expressed in different ways is the idea that we should “move on” with our lives. As if we just need to get over it. In this powerful TED Talk, Nora McInerny talks about the fallacy of “moving on.”
Rabbi Paul Kipnes, MAJE, a popular lecturer on raising spiritually balanced, emotionally whole children, is leader of Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas, California.
There is a secret life of the mourner
That most people just don’t see
There is a secret life of a mourner
Hidden, complex, and now, me.
In HOPE Connection support groups it’s almost a given that someone will talk about being heartbroken because it’s such an accurate description following the death of your spouse or partner. Most people, of course, would say that it’s a metaphorical term — your heart is not literally broken.
In the beautiful song Sanctuary by Carrie Newcomer, she sings
Will you be my refuge, my haven in the storm,
Will you keep the embers warm when my fire’s all but gone?
Will you remember and bring me sprigs of rosemary,
Be my sanctuary ‘til I can carry on, carry on, carry on.
Anyone who has found peace and healing in a HOPE Connection group will identify deeply with Newcomer’s lyrics. HOPE groups are indeed sanctuaries of grace and comfort.
Wendell Berry is a renowned American poet and novelist. One of his most famous poems is The Peace of Wild Things. In this short video, an animated interpretation of the poem plays while Berry reads his lyrics. Members of the HOPE community may relate to Berry’s intimations of the power of nature to comfort and heal the soul.
When your spouse or long-term partner dies, everyone knows what you mean when you say you’re heartbroken. But as you grieve you quickly learn there’s a lot more going on than simply feeling sad or depressed. In fact, the intricacies and complexities of grief can be absolutely baffling. That’s because many aspects of grief are actually controlled by the brain.
Watch this short video for an overview of the physiological and neurological reactions of your brain and body to the process of grieving.
After someone we love has died, life continues to move forward. And as odd as it seems sometimes, both our grief and our love come along as we move forward. Sometimes you might think — I need life to pause, even for a little while, so I can make sense of my loss and gather my thoughts and feelings. But it doesn’t. Life keeps moving forward.
If you’re grieving, you probably know that it’s not easy to go on when you’re feeling the pain of loss and the absence of your loved one. Yet, that is the challenge of grieving: To heal as you go forward. At the same time, it is our task to find ways to carry the love for our loved ones and their story with us.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are quickly approaching. Summer weddings, babies being born, birthdays, anniversaries… they’re all beautiful events and yet they can feel conflicted and painful for you who are grieving. So, what do you do? How do you negotiate the holidays and milestones? Do you ignore them, or do you find ways to have your deceased loved one be present, remembered, and honored? It softens the edges of pain to have their spirit and memories present, almost like they are still here.
The following story was written by a widower whose beloved wife died nine years ago. It beautifully illustrates how he and his adult children are moving forward with Life while finding ways to honor her, love her and share an important story of her life.