If you are grieving for a spouse or anyone else you loved who has died, you have probably found yourself talking to them at times. Late at night, holding a pillow next to you, perhaps, or alone as you walk along a trail. More than likely, you have found this comforting, to simply talk to your loved one… ask questions… reminisce… or…
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Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief Support Groups Serving West Los Angeles, Encino and Agoura Hills
Grief (Page 3)
If you are grieving for a spouse or anyone else you loved who has died, you have probably found yourself talking to them at times. Late at night, holding a pillow next to you, perhaps, or alone as you walk along a trail. More than likely, you have found this comforting, to simply talk to your loved one… ask questions… reminisce… or tell them about all the things that are happening in your life.
Grief is an ever-running stream, flowing fluid and unyielding. It twists and turns, it ebbs and flows, backs up and it gushes forward taking no prisoners as it surges on. It is an uninvited intruder in our lives, a force of nature that commands respect. You can run from it, you can hide, distract, ignore or even fight it. At some point, however, you will unwittingly give it your maximum attention. It will be your reckoning. Grief is the staggering unwanted mandatory tax you pay for losing someone you love.
When we are experiencing deep grief, our relationship with ourselves would ideally be gentle, kind, accepting. Yet that is often not the case as we bombard ourselves with expectations, overload, regrets, guilt and even shame. The presence of a negative inner companion can be our reality during times of trauma and sorrow.
The death of a parent is an emotionally difficult and universal experience. Although you may cognitively understand that the loss is inevitable, that doesn’t lessen the grief when your mother or father dies. It becomes a personal and complicated journey of grief. Nothing is ever the same again. It is a transformative event and your life changes forever.
Lynne Goldklang is a psychotherapist, writer and a grateful member of a HOPE bereavement group.
“I don’t think of all the misery but of all the beauty that remains.” — Anne Frank
It was one of those restless nights a few months after my husband’s death as I flipped on the TV and stared at the movie that was playing. A mother is sitting in a hospital waiting area crying as her young daughter’s life is ebbing. A strange older woman engages her in conversation and asks who is dying. The old woman listens carefully and then advises the grieving mother to be aware of “collateral beauty” — words that are the title and essence of the movie.
The meaning of collateral beauty as portrayed in the film is that love and kindness are all around if the grieving person is open to notice and receive. It is a term that is mystical yet down to earth, easily accessible.
Michael Arvanitis unfortunately went through the HOPE Connection grief group program twice. His dear wife, Katie, died on 10/29/17 and over two years of working on his grief, he began to heal and met a new love. She died suddenly during COVID leaving him grief stricken again. He found his way through connection, grief work being a Mentor to new people in the HOPE program and through the arts. He started writing poetry to find paths through the many emotions of his grief and healing. His new book, Whisperings of a Loving Heart, is now available on Amazon. His loving heart has decided to donate any proceeds to HOPE Connection to give back some of the love and support that he received.
Please consider supporting Michael’s amazing good work and HOPE Connection by buying your copy here today.
Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies. Listen to this audio recording as he meditates on the…
What do most people really know about grief… or how to grieve? Most people know very little. In our society, we most often shy away from the issue of death and most often don’t talk about the horrible pain that we feel when we grieve. We stuff it down, put on a “good face” and act like we’re okay. Inside, we feel confused, frightened, anxious and in emotional pain. The other option that happens is that people shut down, hide away and suffer in silence and aloneness. Neither of these options work very well. They just put grief on hold and cause more suffering.
“Your loss was different,” my 97-year-old aunt Adair said. “You still had a lot of life ahead together when you lost Richard. Herb was 96 when he died.”
I felt a swell of emotion in response. The casual way she said it made the comment hit home like the obvious fact it was, one that hadn’t quite registered with me before so clearly.