After a loved one dies, people often have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. They feel lost, and the process of despairing and searching begins. Not only has our loved one died, we’ve lost our sense of connection. “S/He was my life.”
I didn’t have a good
relationship with my mother. Now that she’s died, I’m confused — why do I feel
the grief and guilt that I feel?
Relationships are often complicated, especially when there has been conflict. When a relationship is complicated, volatile, even abusive, there is a grief process that needs attention. Your grief is a way of expressing feelings that perhaps did not get that attention while your parent was alive. Perhaps the guilt you feel is a way of acknowledging that you would have liked a different relationship. In difficult relationships with parents, there is often a lot that was unsaid. In a grief group, you have the opportunity to process those unsaid words in a safe environment. You may find that you are not alone and more importantly you and your feelings find support.