Dear friends,
A teacher once said, “If you think you can wake up without breaking open, you’re mistaken.”
Growth is not polite.
Truth is not always gentle.
And transformation often hurts.
But it hurts like birth hurts.
Like muscles growing hurt.
Like a heart opening wider than it ever has before.
We don’t heal alone.
Even when we think we must.
There is so much wisdom found in the process of grieving… even if we don’t know or feel it at the time. In grieving, we grow, like it or not. You change when you attend to your grief… because just about everything changes when your spouse dies.
Often, we talk about how difficult it is to grieve the loss of a spouse. There are so many layers and so many new things to learn and do. It can be exhausting and overwhelming. Sometimes it’s hard to face the reality and just keep walking. Sleep sometimes seems like a comforting solitude and escape… but it is so temporary because your grief is there when you wake up. It waits.
“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort. This episode: “Grieving Alone” (April 2025) — Jo Christner, Psy.D.
There has been such tremendous and overwhelming loss to our Los Angeles community. Every single person has been touched on some deep level with their own loss and the tremendous and overwhelming losses of others. Lost homes, lost lives, lost pets, lost belongings, lost wildlife and Nature, a lost sense of safety and personhood. Those who have not lost their homes may feel blessed and yet deeply grieve for those who did, fearing that they could be next. Belief systems have been tested. How could this possibly be happening? It’s hard to feel safe anymore. We may not personally know someone who has lost a home but everyone’s heart has been broken from the pain, sorrow and tremendous suffering on such a huge scale.
Watch this short TedX talk by Molly Carroll about the power of human connection.
People who grieve after the loss of a spouse often do so in isolation. Even when children and grandchildren are able to comfort a parent or grandparent in person, that comfort can sometimes be temporary at best.