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How Do You Know If You’re Healing?

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Grief is a natural process that has similar stages and phases for everyone but it is also unique to each individual. In the beginning, it may feel like the pain is unbearable. Just like a cut on your skin that heals and eventually scabs over and leaves a scar, there is an internal healing that happens with grieving. It, too, will be visible and felt over time.


So how do you know if you’re healing?

The acronym D.I.F. will give you some guidance to know what you can’t see inside.

Are there DIF-ferences in the symptoms of  your grieving?

  • D = Duration
  • I= Intensity
  • F= Frequency 

For example, using crying as a symptom:

Your tears may not last as long — duration.

The pain, sadness and tears may not be as intense.

The tears may not come as frequently.

These changes in symptoms are likely to indicate that healing is occurring.

You will heal. Be gentle with yourself and the process.

Being in a grief support group helps the healing because you are not alone. The individuals in the group understand.

If you feel that it’s too intense or your grief is complicated, you might want to consider professional help from a therapist who is trained and skilled in helping you through your grief.

By Jo Christner, Psy.D.