For Hope Group Members it’s a simple fact of life that the ratio of women-to-men in a Group is usually four, five or six to one. Unfortunately, men often grieve alone — to the detriment of their psychological, physical and spiritual health.
When Fred Colby’s wife, Pam, died after 30 years of marriage, he set out on his journey through grief alone. As he says in the introduction to his book, Widower to Widower, “The greatest fear I had during the earliest stages of my grief was that I was going crazy, was losing all control over my thoughts, and that I might make decisions harming me, my family and my friends. That included suicidal thoughts. This scared the hell out of me and I became desperate to find answers, so I could avoid making bad life choices. I quickly found those answers would be hard to find, and that resources for widowers were minimal and often of dubious value.”
Colby sought support by looking for books written specifically for men grieving the death of their wives, as well as help from a therapist. Widower to Widower is his response to his search.
For an idea about how Colby began working through his grief, read the Introduction to Widower to Widower here. Or check out the book on Amazon here.
In addition, you may listen to an interview of Fred Colby by Herb Knoll, podcaster and author of the Widower’s Journey. This nearly 30-minute conversation reveals insights based on the subject, Who Am I Now? — an exploration of the redefinition of personal identity following the death of a spouse.
Colby had another revelation as he searched for help: the support of a group of people who are also grieving the death of a spouse is invaluable. At Hope Connection, we invite anyone grieving the death of their spouse to join our Groups — men included! — where you will find a safe space to share your pain and learn how to heal.