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Posts by Jo Christner, Psy.D. (Page 2)

The Masculine Side of Grief

“We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.” — Harold Kushner – When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough

Rabbi Kushner says it so well. The most difficult challenges of grieving are to acknowledge it, give it permission to have a place in our lives and in our bodies, attend to it, allow it to heal and let it go. Sounds like a simple recipe but what a huge and individual task to achieve.

The challenges are difficult for both men and women. There are so many general similarities in gender grieving styles but there are also so many differences that make the challenge of grieving different, especially for men. It’s important to recognize that while grief is individual for both genders, this writing speaks to the general differences more than the similarities.

Why Talk About It?

Why talk about it? What good will it do? It’s done. My loved one died. Nothing that I say is going to bring him/her back. I just need to move on.

Sound familiar? Have you said thoughts like this to yourself? Have you said it to others?

That attitude is like trying to take a short cut on the journey of grief… and that rarely ends well. It takes you away from the one thing that you need to heal… attention to your broken heart and all the feelings that it holds.

Healing from grief just doesn’t have a shortcut.

Healing Grief… Moment By Moment: A HOPE Connection Podcast — Is Positivity Always… Positive?

“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort. This episode: “Is Positivity Always… Positive?” (June 2022) — Jo Christner, Psy.D.

Grief… Waits

What happens to grief that is unattended? Are there symptoms? Does grief still exist if it’s put on hold or does it go away by itself? What do I do with it?

When your loved one dies, grief is a natural process in our bodies that can take many forms.  It’s unique to every individual and is affected by so many different factors. “25 Factors That Affect How You Grieve and Heal from the Death of a Loved One” explains many of those factors. 

“How Are You?”
Those Three Little Words

Three little words. A simple phrase that comes out of people’s mouths as easily and unconsciously as an exhale. How are you?

When said to a griever, it takes their breath away for a moment as they are hit with the realization again. The realization of the death of their loved one just when they were attempting to stay away from the feelings for a while. So there is a hesitation to calculate how they feel… or to figure out what to say to a phrase that has no easy answer right now. A mixture of emotions and thoughts flood their mind and body like an ocean wave.

Healing Grief… Moment By Moment: A HOPE Connection Podcast — Negotiating The Holidays – Easter and Passover

“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort. This episode: “Negotiating The Holidays – Easter and Passover” (March 2022) — Jo Christner, Psy.D.

Healing Grief… Moment By Moment: A HOPE Connection Podcast – A Sudden Temporary Upsurge of Grief

“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort. This episode: “A Sudden Temporary Upsurge of Grief” (January 2022) — Jo Christner, Psy.D.

A Community Sees Each Other Through

As every member of the HOPE community who has spent time in a group can attest, personal interaction between group members is as deep as it is emotional. In a recent group meeting I witnessed an extraordinary example of the way in which members of our community inspire one another on their unique journeys through grief.