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Posts from 2019

Resiliency: 3 Ways To Cope With Tragedy And Loss

Lucy Hone is a codirector at the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience and a research associate at AUT University in Auckland. She is also the author of the book Resilient Grieving.

I’d like to start by asking you some questions.

Have you ever lost someone you loved? Had your heart broken? Struggled through an acrimonious divorce or been the victim of infidelity?

Have you ever lived through a natural disaster? Been bullied? Or made redundant from a job?

Ever had a miscarriage or an abortion, or struggled through infertility?

Finally, have you or anyone you loved had to cope with mental illness, dementia, some form of physical impairment, or suicide?

Chances are, you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, and that’s true for most people. Adversity doesn’t discriminate.

If you are alive, you are going to have to deal with some tough times.

Happy Birthday, HOPE Connection

A long time ago, I presented a half-day workshop called “When the Group Changes.” It was about how difficult it is when any group changes and has to say goodbye. It’s hard to say goodbye, whether it’s an individual, a family or an organization. Everyone grieves. It’s a natural part of life. Life changes and whether we like it or not, it still changes. Nothing is permanent.

Resilience, hope and sometimes pure courage are some of the things that help us through… one day at a time, one step at a time, one minute at a time.

Thank You, HOPE Connection

In a time of spousal loss, we can seek solace from friends and family, but we also need to find a healing circle of people with whom we can speak openly without having the words catch in our throats. We need to share our grief with others going through similar feelings. 

Together we face our loss as part of a loving, accepting community — sharing, laughing, crying, recalling moments of lost love.

HOPE CONNECTION is the place to find that “beloved” circle.

Seymour Rimer — “Sy”

Gratitude – Essential To Healing

If you’re grieving the death of your spouse, it may sometimes feel as though you’ll never heal. But as the days and weeks and months and, yes, even years go by, healing does occur. One essential part of the healing process is gratitude. In the early days of your grief, gratitude might also seem like an emotion you’ll never experience again. If you make a practice of gratitude, though — expressing it even if you do not wholeheartedly feel it — you may just find that gratitude helps you heal.

Did I Really Just Say That – To Myself?

I recently wrote an article that dealt with insensitive remarks made by others. This time the camera of life will be a “selfie.” Note if any of these remarks resonate with your own self-talk.

First the common painful practice of “would of, could of, should of” comments that can really hurt. Here are a few examples:

‘Lonely’ Not Powerful Enough Word To Describe Widowhood

“Loneliness is not a surprising by-product of widowhood. I mean, even for the people who have never been through it, it’s a no-brainer. But frankly, I think that lonely is not a strong enough word.” So begins an article by Catherine Tidd on OpenToHope. For anyone who has been a widow or widower for even a month, these words resonate. The sheer aloneness…

Love After Love

The time will come  when, with elation  you will greet yourself arriving  at your own door, in your own mirror  and each will smile at the other’s welcome,  and say, sit here. Eat.  You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart  to itself, to the stranger who has loved you  all your…

My Debt

Michael Linsk is a poet and HOPE Connection group alum.

My wife, lover, friend, soul mate

is no longer a warm, living, breathing part of my life.

Death intervened.

Did You Really Just Say That?

You are grieving, upset, depressed, anxious, feeling alone and lost while finding yourself in a maze of people. Some of those people are family, good friends, co-workers, neighbors — the myriad of human beings who inhabit your world. You used to be able count on them to lift your spirits, trade a smile, give a caring word. Now you barely recognize your life and the people in it. Some are avoiding you as though you had a contagious disease. Even worse are those who speak in a language that cuts right to the bone of your despair. Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of these gems of insensitivity. Here are just a few that you may recognize: