Acceptance — what does that even mean? How does acceptance even happen?
Will acceptance show up? How will I know?
What if I don’t believe there is acceptance?
There are so many questions about acceptance and no easy answers. Especially acceptance of the loss of a loved one. When someone so important in your life dies, acceptance seems confusing and unrealistic.
I have been listening to versions of Turn! Turn! Turn! since Pete Seeger took the much quoted biblical passage from Ecclesiastes and made it into a song in the 1950s. In 1965 it became an international hit as recorded by the Byrds.
As a young woman, I felt the power of the song lyrics as I examined my life and looked toward the possibilities with so many years to come.
Click on the Title of an article to download a PDF that you can print. The Colors of Grief April 2019 Enough Is Enough! Not Another Loss! March 2019 What’s Happening? Am I Going Crazy? February 2019 Can We Talk? January 2019 Please Don’t Take Away My Grief December 2018 The Empty Chair: Grief and the Holidays December 2018 I Recognize Your…
Spring is finally here! Winter felt like forever this year. Now, we’re watching the miracle of Nature as life slowly comes back to our landscapes that were changed by the harshness of Winter and natural disasters. The charred California mountains are now filled with beautiful colors of blue lupine, orange poppies and the golden mustard plant. Do you feel it? The colorful…
When a person experiences multiple deaths of loved ones within a short period of time, the pain can feel like too much to bear. Not only are you grieving for one loss, now there are two… for some, maybe more. As a result of multiple losses, your usual support system may be depleting. The people in your life may not understand the depth of your grief or be able to tolerate the intensity of it. You may feel a lack of connection with others, which may increase yours sense of isolation or loneliness.
Last month, members of the HOPE community were invited to a screening of the short film, Eve, followed by a discussion with filmmaker Susan Bay Nimoy and HOPE Connection’s Executive Director, Dr. Jo Christner. The film was especially relevant to the HOPE community because the filmmaker found inspiration to create the film following the death of her husband, renowned actor Leonard Nimoy.
A guest came to visit
uninvited
without so much as a knock at the door.
Grief arrived…
bathed in the empty stillness left by an aching absence,
my new companion rests comfortably among reminders of earlier times.
Allowing me freedom to go about creating a new life
but still present when time slows
and the roaring silence fails to fill the gaping void.
I eat dinner standing in the kitchen
Because that’s now what I do
When I sit at the dining room table
I still expect to sit down next to you.
What’s happening? I’m so spacey. I put the ice cream in the cupboard and the car keys in the freezer! I missed an appointment today! I’ve never done that before. Am I going crazy? Maybe I have Alzheimer’s! Oh my! I’m just not me anymore. What’s happening?
No worries, It’s your grief. You’re experiencing “Grief Fog.” Yes, it is a real thing! A mental fog and confusion are actually neurochemistry symptoms of extreme stress and grief. It is normal to be preoccupied, trying to make sense of the loss. All of these factors contribute to the fog of grief.
Don Phillipson is a writer who lives in Thousand Oaks. He was a HOPE Group member until October, 2018.
I sit in a darkened theater, beautiful blue velvet curtains, having just
descended, guard the stage.
The curtain has just come down after the third act, and I sit stunned, dazed.