New Beginnings is a group for ongoing support as a place of growth… from grief to growth.
Think back to your time when your spouse died. Imagine seeing your life as if you were sitting in the first row of a movie theatre. It’s too big — you can’t see everything at once. Then after four months, you move from Group 1 to Group 2. Now, imagine moving back five rows in the movie theatre. Your life still looms large on the screen but not quite as large.
When your spouse or long-term partner dies, everyone knows what you mean when you say you’re heartbroken. But as you grieve you quickly learn there’s a lot more going on than simply feeling sad or depressed. In fact, the intricacies and complexities of grief can be absolutely baffling. That’s because many aspects of grief are actually controlled by the brain.
Watch this short video for an overview of the physiological and neurological reactions of your brain and body to the process of grieving.
Shortly after my husband died, I woke to the sound of a garbage truck coming down my street on its routine early morning pickup. I usually dislike those noisy garbage trucks grinding away as they slam trash cans around, but now a sense of comfort washed over me. How strange, I thought, that such an ordinary thing helps me regain a sense of normality. My connection to the outside world was momentarily restored. I began to welcome trash days knowing that for a few moments, I would relax – something that had eluded me in those first months of grief. It was a small sense of relief, but with a noticeable impact.
“Healing Grief… Moment by Moment” is a podcast created and produced by HOPE Connection. In each short episode Dr. Jo Christner or another HOPE Connection therapist offers a meditative exploration of a different aspect of grief and the healing process. As you listen, we wish you love, light and comfort. This episode: “Is Positivity Always… Positive?” (June 2022) — Jo Christner, Psy.D.
The death of your spouse most likely turned your whole world upside down… out of balance. Everything seemed to change in your life… especially you. Your belief system, physical routines such as sleeping and eating, energy level, emotional stability, relationships have all been altered… even your environment has taken on a different meaning. That feeling of safety, comfort and familiarity about your life no longer seems to exist.
Self-care is like flossing — we know we need to do it regularly, but most people don’t. It is important to take care of yourself, especially during a time of grieving. Taking care of yourself while you grieve can help you suffer less in every way — in your mind, body and spirit. There is no timeline on grief, so take as much time as you need and seek and accept help and support from friends and loved ones, as well as seeking professional support such as personal therapy or joining a bereavement support group.
Laine Hammer is a writer living in Los Angeles whose mother died in 2017. She finds joy by rock climbing, reading, finding new vegan restaurants, traveling and winning free concert tickets through 88.5 FM.
“Sometimes my grief feels as though I’ve been left alone in a room with no doors. Every time I remember that my mother is dead, it feels like I’m colliding with a wall that won’t give. There’s no escape, just a hard surface that I keep ramming into over and over, a reminder of the immutable reality that I will never see her again.” — Michelle Zauner, Crying in H Mart
Grief feels like that hole in your old t-shirt. You try to ignore it, but it won’t let you. Even after you mend it, the pesky hole comes back somewhere new. And the longer you ignore it, the bigger the hole gets.
What happens to grief that is unattended? Are there symptoms? Does grief still exist if it’s put on hold or does it go away by itself? What do I do with it?
When your loved one dies, grief is a natural process in our bodies that can take many forms. It’s unique to every individual and is affected by so many different factors. “25 Factors That Affect How You Grieve and Heal from the Death of a Loved One” explains many of those factors.
“Though we would like to live without regrets, and sometimes proudly insist that we have none, this is not really possible, if only because we are mortal.” — James Baldwin
Memories are powerful and can be simply thought of as reflective nostalgia. Or they can turn into something much more, with the potential to trigger an overwhelming feeling of regret.
When someone you love dies, it’s normal to focus on some guilt or perhaps some regret which then boils to the surface without warning.
Three little words. A simple phrase that comes out of people’s mouths as easily and unconsciously as an exhale. How are you?
When said to a griever, it takes their breath away for a moment as they are hit with the realization again. The realization of the death of their loved one just when they were attempting to stay away from the feelings for a while. So there is a hesitation to calculate how they feel… or to figure out what to say to a phrase that has no easy answer right now. A mixture of emotions and thoughts flood their mind and body like an ocean wave.