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'Hope' Tagged Posts

“How Are You?”
Those Three Little Words

Three little words. A simple phrase that comes out of people’s mouths as easily and unconsciously as an exhale. How are you?

When said to a griever, it takes their breath away for a moment as they are hit with the realization again. The realization of the death of their loved one just when they were attempting to stay away from the feelings for a while. So there is a hesitation to calculate how they feel… or to figure out what to say to a phrase that has no easy answer right now. A mixture of emotions and thoughts flood their mind and body like an ocean wave.

Your Personal Eclipse — Journey From Darkness To Light

When your loved one dies, it may literally feel like it takes your breath away. You begin an odyssey that you don’t how know to navigate.

Shock and numbness prepare you for the journey as you plummet into a swirling dense fog of despair, an unfamiliar reality. The life you shared is no more. This is a forever loss and so begins… the eclipse into darkness.

The King’s Diamond – A Parable

There is so much pain and sorrow in our world and lives. Finding some thread of hope and inspiration often seems unreachable. It’s so important that we reach out to each other and create that thread… see each other through. From the beginning of time, hurting souls would sit around fires, tell stories and create connection and hope. We’ve strayed from those rituals and too often feel alone. We need those stories, those parables and metaphors to hold onto, a touchstone to hope.

So, we offer you a “touchstone” to hold onto… the story of The King’s Diamond, an old Jewish folk story. This version is included in the Introduction of Living Through Mourning: Finding Comfort and Hope When a Loved One Has Died, by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. May it bring you a sense of connection to all of us and your deceased loved one.

The Circle of Life

“It’s the Circle of Life and it moves us all through despair and hope through Faith and Love.” — From The Lion King These are soulful words though not typical of how we move through life. Our lives are usually experienced in a linear way — on a path that goes on and on until it fades away or ends abruptly. We count and…

How To Reconnect After Losing A Loved One

After a loved one dies, people often have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. They feel lost, and the process of despairing and searching begins. Not only has our loved one died, we’ve lost our sense of connection. “S/He was my life.” It’s difficult to describe the depth of this kind of loneliness, feeling as though no one could possibly understand or fathom…

Thrown To The Bottom

By Sue Rowen, M.A., MFT

In grief, individuals often have a feeling of generalized fear and being unable to control the body symptoms that go along with feelings of anxiety and panic. If we look at Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs Theory,” we see some of the basis for this anxiety.

It becomes apparent that when we experience the death of a loved one, we are thrown to the bottom two levels of the pyramid.  We are confronted with the fear that we may no longer feel safe and may not be able to take care of ourselves and our basic needs.

One’s personal world has changed forever.  When we are grieving the death of a loved one we feel stripped of the resources that, in the past, have been there to support us through stressful times.

Maslow

  • “Do I have enough money to support myself?
  • “Will I be okay alone?”
  • “How am I going to drive at night by myself?”
  • “What if I get sick?  Who will help me?”

Our loved one, a major part of our support system and someone we have depended on for such support, is no longer present for us.

A Blueprint To Regain Balance

If your spouse has died, your whole world has most likely been turned upside down… out of balance. Everything seemed to change in your life… especially you. Your belief system, physical routines such as sleep, energy and eating, emotional stability, relationships… even your environment has taken on a different meaning. That feeling of safety, comfort and familiarity about your life no longer seems to exist.

Grieving is a difficult journey, as you already know. In the process you and your life will change. Learning to re-create a sense of

An Important Holiday Message

There’s no place like “HOPE” for the Holidays.

The first time a loved one is absent for the holidays a griever may conclude that all of the progress and healing that has taken place has vanished.

Starting with Thanksgiving and through New Year’s are the days on which mourners are reminded of loss by the painful absence of their loved one. Feelings of longing and sadness are especially acute this time of year.

In our culture there is a strong expectation of a “Norman Rockwell” holiday with loved ones harmoniously gathered around the hearth. This expectation burdens many individuals, not just those who are mourning.

We are bombarded with