By Fern Lippert, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist Holidays are normally a time of rejoicing, sharing meals with loved ones, and carrying out the family traditions. Unfortunately, this year for many that has changed. A loved one is no longer there and now holidays can be a time of tremendous sadness. It reminds us of what we no longer have. We often wonder, “How…
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Posts by Fern Lippert, M.A., MFT (Page 2)
Losing a parent is a loss like no other. The loss of a parent and how it impacts our lives can be compared to skipping a stone over water: there are ripples, many of them, and each ripple impacts our lives in a very profound and often discounted way. When we lose a parent we are faced with our own mortality for…
Scream and shout and flail about, it’s all part of feeling the self doubt. Get into bed and stay there all day, every thing will still go on just as they say. Try to hold on to the pain you feel so well, as death’s door must always keep ringing its bell. Look upon the photos, cards, and videos of long, long ago,…
The children tied a blindfold around his head. He was spun around and around, his sense of direction befuddled. He didn’t know which way to turn. Come and play, they call to him. But how? The blindfold obscures all, forcing him to encounter a world infused with uncertainty. So too for me, the loss of my spouse spun my world around leaving…
It has been said we observe life as if walking backwards, a vision of our past in clear focus while our future remains an enigma. Yet, on a path through a forest glen all of our senses are aware. Sunlight warms our skin, sounds and smells emanating from throughout our sphere fill our senses. If we but look we see everything…
Not long ago I learned that a very good friend’s husband was hit by a bus and left in critical condition only to pass away shortly after. He was a great man with a sweet soul and a gentle nature. He loved his animals, his wife, and kids, and seemed to always have a smile for you when in his presence. When…
Grief is a strange landscape: The world is the same, but you are not. You are still you, but the world is not. Everything has collapsed and gone cockeyed and reassembled in ways that only you can see. Even those who have lost the same person have still lost someone different than you have. It’s easy to feel like Alice, dropped down…
Though it has been discussed many times publicly and privately, it bears repeating from time to time just so that people don’t forget. There are some thoughtless and inappropriate comments that people say to the bereaved because they:
A) Don’t know what to say
B) Don’t think about what they’re saying
C) Are uncomfortable with their own vulnerability
D) Just don’t understand. It is just not part of any experience they have ever had; therefore, they are unable to relate.
When the person closest to you dies, it is not only
Years of companionship, adventure, striving for understanding two souls grew together. The initial natural attraction maturing over the years into deep and lasting love creating a shared identity. We imagined we were in the indian summer of our years. Dreams of an undefined future together hand in hand abruptly ended when one was taken too soon. That loss brings tears.…
There were no words to describe my feelings when my only child, Chris, took his own life. In the beginning there were no words. My soul had been excavated and sent out to sea. Bereft beyond words, in shock and disbelief, only howls of agony escaped my lips. Words were not available for me to utter and words from others could not…