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Posts by Sheila Newton, Psy.D., MFT (Page 2)

What Not To Say To The Bereaved

Though it has been discussed many times publicly and privately, it bears repeating from time to time just so that people don’t forget. There are some thoughtless and inappropriate comments that people say to the bereaved because they:

A) Don’t know what to say

B) Don’t think about what they’re saying

C) Are uncomfortable with their own vulnerability

D) Just don’t understand. It is just not part of any experience they have ever had; therefore, they are unable to relate.

When the person closest to you dies, it is not only

One life — Two losses

Years of companionship, adventure, striving for understanding two souls grew together. The initial natural attraction maturing over the years into deep and lasting love creating a shared identity.   We imagined we were in the indian summer of our years. Dreams of an undefined future together hand in hand abruptly ended when one was taken too soon.   That loss brings tears.…

A Journey Not Of Our Choosing

There were no words to describe my feelings when my only child, Chris, took his own life. In the beginning there were no words. My soul had been excavated and sent out to sea. Bereft beyond words, in shock and disbelief, only howls of agony escaped my lips. Words were not available for me to utter and words from others could not…

Mindful Grieving Through The Holidays

The holiday season is upon us and it can be a very stressful, lonely time, and especially painful for those who are grieving the death of a loved one. It can feel dreadful for those who are experiencing their “first” holiday without their departed. For many others, you may have already had your “firsts,” but it may still feel that way because you were moving through a thick fog during that time.

Aloneness, Loneliness and Grief

When you experience the loss of a loved one, there is an alone time that is different. The house is quieter.  Just knowing that your loved one was there, even if in another room, was reassuring. It helped to define you and to let you feel that you were not alone. Loneliness is often called the “greatest penalty of widowhood.”* It’s the…

An Important Holiday Message

There’s no place like “HOPE” for the Holidays.

The first time a loved one is absent for the holidays a griever may conclude that all of the progress and healing that has taken place has vanished.

Starting with Thanksgiving and through New Year’s are the days on which mourners are reminded of loss by the painful absence of their loved one. Feelings of longing and sadness are especially acute this time of year.

In our culture there is a strong expectation of a “Norman Rockwell” holiday with loved ones harmoniously gathered around the hearth. This expectation burdens many individuals, not just those who are mourning.

We are bombarded with

President’s Letter

Ana, my wife of 41 years, passed away suddenly in late 2001. I was devastated and lost. I knew that I needed to find support to get through the grieving process. I found HOPE and began attending the groups. Group members became an important part of my healing. I developed many friendships that now continue 10 years later. The miracle of HOPE is…