There were no words to describe my feelings when my only child, Chris, took his own life. In the beginning there were no words. My soul had been excavated and sent out to sea. Bereft beyond words, in shock and disbelief, only howls of agony escaped my lips. Words were not available for me to utter and words from others could not…
Click here for more information about HOPE Connection’s Parent Loss Groups. The loss of a parent is a unique event, unlike the death of anyone else. When we are an adult and one of our parents dies, we are changed in three fundamental ways. Here is an overview of those changes and advice for grieving this very special loss.
When we lose a parent, especially when we are adults ourselves, the loss can be, in a sense, “discounted.” That is, it is such a natural course of events that somehow we are supposed to be immune from grieving the loss. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our parents will always be our parents. And no matter our age when we…
The holiday season is upon us and it can be a very stressful, lonely time, and especially painful for those who are grieving the death of a loved one. It can feel dreadful for those who are experiencing their “first” holiday without their departed. For many others, you may have already had your “firsts,” but it may still feel that way because you were moving through a thick fog during that time.
Sacred Circles: The Essence of Every Hope Group In this video, Hope Connection’s Executive Director shares a moving testimonial from a Hope Group member addressed to the fellow members of his Sacred Circle.
When you experience the loss of a loved one, there is an alone time that is different. The house is quieter. Just knowing that your loved one was there, even if in another room, was reassuring. It helped to define you and to let you feel that you were not alone. Loneliness is often called the “greatest penalty of widowhood.”* It’s the…
Today, on the anniversary of 9/11, many people are writing about the meaning, significance and even personal memories of that awful day.
There is an aspect of the event, though, that is particularly meaningful to those associated with Hope Connection — group leaders, current and past members alike.
That aspect concerns the process of moving beyond grief. Unlike many people who experience the loss of a loved one as a largely individual event, there is a group of people mainly concentrated in the greater New York area who share a communal loss. People have neighbors, friends, co-workers who have shared a similar loss at the same time for the same reason.
Gail Sheehy recognized the unique nature of this shared loss, and has explored its nuances in a new book called Middletown, America.
A note from HOPE Connection: We received the article below shortly after the news of Robin Williams’ death. The author’s husband committed suicide, and she posted these heartfelt words on her Facebook page. It is a truly powerful message. She has graciously allowed us to reprint her post in the hope that lives may not only be touched, but saved. – Dr. Jo…
Everyone goes through a natural grieving process when a death occurs. We each behave and express feelings according to the way we’ve been taught and as modeled by our society, our culture, our family, our peers and other influences. A belief system is created that affects the way that we perceive life, death and grief.
Although men and women both feel pain and grieve when they suffer a loss, the way they deal with grief is where the differences in their grieving become apparent. The differences we see in “his” and “her” grief responses are due to our different styles of coping with pain and loss.
There are many factors that cause these differences in coping… and most often we were carefully “taught.”
From childhood, we are taught different gender roles. Little girls are taught and encouraged to share feelings, express needs and receive support from others. This support system is acquired over a lifetime.
Grief is a natural process that has similar stages and phases for everyone but it is also unique to each individual. In the beginning, it may feel like the pain is unbearable. Just like a cut on your skin that heals and eventually scabs over and leaves a scar, there is an internal healing that happens with grieving. It, too, will be…