When your loved one dies, it may literally feel like it takes your breath away. You begin an odyssey that you don’t how know to navigate.
Shock and numbness prepare you for the journey as you plummet into a swirling dense fog of despair, an unfamiliar reality. The life you shared is no more. This is a forever loss and so begins… the eclipse into darkness.
There is so much pain and sorrow in our world and lives. Finding some thread of hope and inspiration often seems unreachable. It’s so important that we reach out to each other and create that thread… see each other through. From the beginning of time, hurting souls would sit around fires, tell stories and create connection and hope. We’ve strayed from those rituals and too often feel alone. We need those stories, those parables and metaphors to hold onto, a touchstone to hope.
So, we offer you a “touchstone” to hold onto… the story of The King’s Diamond, an old Jewish folk story. This version is included in the Introduction of Living Through Mourning: Finding Comfort and Hope When a Loved One Has Died, by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. May it bring you a sense of connection to all of us and your deceased loved one.
Loss! We have all experienced losing a loved one but losing a parent is a unique loss and one that is often discounted. Anyone who has had a parent die knows that feeling of profound sadness, the feeling of being overwhelmed, the thoughts of, “Oh No! What now?”
There is a prevailing attitude in our cultural messages that the death of a parent is a natural course of events and we need to “just get over it!”
I am alone and lonely with no one to turn to. Often I am afraid when thinking of my uncertain future… getting old and sick in a hospital or nursing home with no one to hold my hand and comfort me. Could you give me some feedback on this concern. When you get stuck in your fears about the future, you probably…
We all remember falling in love. We all remember those wonderful feelings we experienced when we fell in love. And if we experience love again, later in life, we become reacquainted with feeling alive and exuberant, like the teenagers we once were. Falling in love is especially shocking when it happens after the loss of a loved spouse and no one is…
Grief is a strange landscape: The world is the same, but you are not. You are still you, but the world is not. Everything has collapsed and gone cockeyed and reassembled in ways that only you can see. Even those who have lost the same person have still lost someone different than you have. It’s easy to feel like Alice, dropped down…
By Sue Rowen, M.A., MFT
In grief, individuals often have a feeling of generalized fear and being unable to control the body symptoms that go along with feelings of anxiety and panic. If we look at Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs Theory,” we see some of the basis for this anxiety.
It becomes apparent that when we experience the death of a loved one, we are thrown to the bottom two levels of the pyramid. We are confronted with the fear that we may no longer feel safe and may not be able to take care of ourselves and our basic needs.
One’s personal world has changed forever. When we are grieving the death of a loved one we feel stripped of the resources that, in the past, have been there to support us through stressful times.
Our loved one, a major part of our support system and someone we have depended on for such support, is no longer present for us.
What is grief? Grief is a journey. It is painful. It is difficult and challenging. It feels never-ending. It does have a natural rhythm that will occur and you will heal. Be gentle with yourself and trust your natural, innate process. What are resources? Your resources are all of the things that help you through the journey of grief: Work A grief…
If your spouse has died, your whole world has most likely been turned upside down… out of balance. Everything seemed to change in your life… especially you. Your belief system, physical routines such as sleep, energy and eating, emotional stability, relationships… even your environment has taken on a different meaning. That feeling of safety, comfort and familiarity about your life no longer seems to exist.
Grieving is a difficult journey, as you already know. In the process you and your life will change. Learning to re-create a sense of